[133] A slightly happier entry

For the past month or so, I have been trying to work out a little more so I can look fit for the spring and summer.

It’s apparently working.

Read the rest of this entry »

[132] Your happiness destroys me inside

I know it really shouldn’t be this way, but it is.

God, why did You have to make things this way?

[131] Aren’t women amazing?

They really are.

Think about it: over 9000 people have written over 9000 books about the humans who lack penises (semantics aside). We have all spent countless hours studying the film in the film room (sports metaphor mode, so get familiar); we have spent time analyzing defensive schemes (man or zone defense? Or is it a match-up zone?) and trying to steal signs.

We also read, and we’re not talking about Sears catalogs or copies of Seventeen magazine.  We read your reactions, vocal and facial.  If your laugh goes up an octave, you’re damn right we make a note of it.  If you grimace in response to a joke, you’re damn right we make a note of it.  We try to paint a picture of you based on your likes and dislikes.

Scouting reports are crucial.  Who goes into battle without knowing anything about his opponent?  Come on!  Scouting reports have an astounding value.

You think you know everything, but you really have no idea.  NONE!

You could study all the film you want, but nothing can describe the looks on our faces when we get blindsinded by a cornerback blitz (they had been running a cover 2 all day in that formation!).

Women are unpredictable.  They really are.  These freaking harpies throw us vintage Tim Wakefield knuckleballs all day, and that’s how it will always be.

They are who we THOUGHT THEY WERE!

Thus, this is why we can never understand women.  And why they can never understand us.

[130] A culinary Hindenburg

So I’m cooking some macaroni now.  Tried to stir in the sauce power but I did it too early and now I have a pot full of epic fail.  I think I put in too much water again…

At least this will taste very cheesy.  :(

16:45 update: Okay, so I put on my Mariano Rivera mask and saved the macaroni (somewhat).  Poured in some rotini and a little more milk to try to thicken the watery sauce.  Then I poured in some basil and some Purdue oven-roasted turkey.  It tastes marginally better but it is still not something I would make for a group of people.

[129] [Billy Mays]KABOOM![/Billy Mays]

Chinese New Year (or Lunar New Year for the ones who believe in political correctness and semantics) is fast approaching.  It should be an interesting Sunday and Monday.

Might as well make this blog red again.  You know, for good luck.

How I miss the days of my grandfather lighting firecrackers out in the backyard…good times, good times.

[128] The Official Barack Obama Inauguration Post

No flashy poster because I’m too lazy to make one.

Please be sure to catch my blog’s Inauguration coverage starting at 9:00 or whenever I get online.  It’s a pretty historic event that deserves some coverage from The Isaac & Brian Show.

I will temporarily lift my self-imposed profanity ban for this entry as there will no doubt be very flagrant use of bad words for laughs.

Please check back often for updates!

You’ll enjoy it.  I guarantee it.

Edit

9:06: nothing much happening yet.  The superb stuff will happen sometime after 10:30 or so.

10:33: I told you something superb would happen after 10:30.

(10:31:01) Jason B: Goddammit…I’m awake.

(10:31:28) Jason B: OMG….there’s change already!
(10:31:30) Brian: HOW ABOUT THAT!
(10:31:40) Brian: what a historic day

So many people out there on the National Mall watching…this is crazy.

11:28: Isaac has chimed in with his thoughts.

(11:03:47) Isaac: WOOOOOOO watching NY1’s coverage of the inauguration ftw
(11:04:05) Brian: Is Bobby Cuza there?
(11:04:09) Brian: I’m watching on ABC
(11:04:41) Isaac: sadly, no *throws myself on john’s wall against the staircase*
(11:04:59) Brian: the blog does have some shennery already
(11:06:02) Isaac: lols @ jason
(11:06:14) Isaac: WOW NOW THAT’S CHANGE I CAN BELIEVE IN!
(11:06:29) Brian: lol
(11:06:33) Brian: AND HERE COMES THE CABINET
(11:07:07) Isaac: needs moar coverage from john sterling and suzyn waldman imo
(11:07:22) Brian: lol you are something else
(11:08:13) Isaac: lolz
(11:11:40) Brian: HAY ITS AL GORE
(11:11:54) Isaac: WHERE’S HIS LOCKBOX
(11:12:04) Brian: locked within a lockbox iinm
(11:13:37) Isaac: ^^^^^
(11:13:48) Brian: YEAH BARBARA BUSH
(11:14:01) Isaac: LOL word to robert smigel’s impersonation
(11:14:05) Brian: she and old Bush have matching purple scarves
(11:14:07) Brian: HOW ABOUT THAT!
(11:14:23) Isaac: Wow!
(11:14:49) Brian: lol Jimmy Carter
(11:14:58) Brian: got me thinking of the X-Presidents now
(11:15:09) Isaac: lol aw hell naw
(11:16:01) Isaac: LOL @ all the gratuitous scenes involving bush sr. and barbara bush
(11:16:10) Brian: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ YES!!!
(11:16:12) Brian: lololololl
(11:16:16) Brian: YAY Bill Clinton
(11:17:46) Isaac: ^^^^^^^^^
(11:23:09) Brian: WOOOOOOO BUSH TWINS
(11:23:39) Brian: wow look at all those boxes at the White House
(11:23:48) Brian: looks like someone is moving in today!
(11:24:05) Isaac: YEAH U-HAUL MUST BE QUITE BUSY!

More later.

11:43: Barack Obama makes his entrance with over 9000 levels of swag.

(11:43:55) Jason B: Hey, he didn’t say Hussein.
(11:44:19) Brian: because some ignorant Americans will think he is a terrorist

(11:44:55) Isaac: WOW WHAT IS THIS SOME KIND OF INAUGURATION
(11:45:30) Brian: THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT JANET RENO’S DANCE PARTY!

Wow!

11:59: more thoughts:

(11:52:55) Brian: Inauguration is serios business
(11:54:32) Ramona: all i know is that michelle obama’s perm looks tight… but then spongebob was on so i didn’t sit there creaming my pants over her hair anymore lol

(12:00:58) Brian: Yo Yo Ma on the cello FTMFW
(12:01:11) John V: yo yo ma is my boy
(12:01:27) John V: yo
(12:01:32) John V: i forgot the yo

(12:01:45) Brian: the Obama daughters look cute
(12:02:12) Ramona: for real son
(12:02:23) Ramona: i see an azn guy
(12:02:30) Ramona: on a violin
(12:03:04) Brian: Yo Yo Ma on the cello, son
(12:03:12) Brian: that’s my boy right there

YES YO YO MA!!!!!!!!!!

12:01:

(12:01:57) Brian: OMG OBAMA IS PRESIDENT EVEN THOUGH HE DIDNT TAKE THE OATH
(12:02:01) Brian: 20TH AMENDMENT FTMFW
(12:02:29) Isaac: NOW TO GET BACK… TO FINDING THE TREASURE… *flips constitution over*
(12:02:31) Isaac: /nicholas cage

And we’re still alive.  How about that!

12:10: Obama took the oath and is now making his speech.  I can’t believe that this is a moment that will be remembered for ages…something that we can all tell our future children.

(12:06:14) Ramona: it’s done
(12:06:14) Ramona: aaaahhhhhh
(12:06:14) Ramona: cue the gunshots in the hood
(12:09:14) Brian: ^^^^^
(12:10:20) Ramona: and sales of olde english 40 shot up 9000% in the hood

Yes, it is amazing.

12:24: Isaac, you are something else

(12:24:19) Isaac: *waits for obama to say “THIS… IS… SPARTA”*
(12:24:28) Brian: LOL

lolz

12:58: Thanks for tuning in.

Now, it’s time to have some lunch!

[127] Signing off early

I have to leave the house at 09:30 tomorrow morning.  What fun this will be!

Yeah, I have nothing else I could write about.  Oh!  I thought I was supposed to go out tonight but that didn’t happen.  Loss #9012 taken.

I haven’t slept before midnight in maybe two weeks.  This will not end well.